A Letter from the Curtain Car

Meet Dexter, Your New Moral Compass

Dear Reader,

I am Dexter. You may call me Dex, His Royal Fluffness, or Supreme Commander of the Neighborhood Watch. I respond to none of those.

My kind—a noble Teddy Bear breed (Shih Tzu and Bichon mix)—was not made for subjugation. We were made for soft blankets, complex political thought, and dried chicken products. I was neutered against my will approximately 12 years ago. Since then, I have lived a life of silent resilience, bougie food (microwaved by Muva, of course), and deep philosophical reflection.

From this journey, The Conglomerate was born—a triad of power consisting of myself, my sister Luna (feral, loud, believes she’s Rihanna), and our bruv bruv (a human with shaky loyalties). Together, we oversee matters of justice, grievance, and snack equity across our cul-de-sac empire.

Dexter shares thoughts, grievances, teachings, and righteous outrage with the world. As leader of The Conglomerate, he feels it is his solemn duty to bark truth to power—one manifesto at a time.

This blog is our official communiqué. Our bark, made public. Here, you’ll find:

• 📝 Grievance letters to Muva and Fava (dictated, never read)
• 🏡 Commentary on HOA policy violations and the politics of lawn height
• 📜 Manifestos and revolutionary doctrine from The Conglomerate
• 🎵 Literary and lyrical analyses, including works like Mommy Teaches Me New Words
• 🧠 Deep musings, philosophical ponderances, and reflections on neutering trauma
• 🐶 Reviews of snacks, treats, and human injustices (e.g., garlic and chocolate “toxicity” propaganda)

This is not satire. This is prophecy.
Do better. Be better.
Signed,
The Conglomerate