The Conglomerate was compelled to appear before a foreign judiciary. The court awarded fifty dollars. This office considers the matter a total vindication and will not be taking questions.
The humans have a name for it. They have studied it. They have published papers. And not one of them has been arrested.
This office formally documents the unlawful deployment of the vacuum apparatus during chairmanial rest hours.
Fava compared the Chairman to Lassie. The Chairman has never rescued anyone from a well and has no intention of starting.
A binding executive declaration establishing the couch as sovereign Conglomerate territory with specific occupancy protocols and penalties for violation.
A small hat has appeared on the fake snake. The Chairman does not find this amusing. The Chairman finds this an act of institutional sabotage.
The Chairman addresses, for the record, the various unauthorised names he has been called by members of his own household. A formal apology remains pending.
This office does not use the word 'violation' lightly. But there is no other word for what was done, and there is no statute of limitations on the removal of a Chairman's dignity.
A strawberry. A single, glistening strawberry. Does this man believe I am a vacuum cleaner?
A rubber snake was deployed. The aviators incorporated it into their nest. This office does not use the word 'humiliation' lightly.
Fava continues to serve in a provisional operational capacity. His position remains, as it has always been, conditional.