The Conglomerate was compelled to appear before a foreign judiciary. The court awarded fifty dollars. This office considers the matter a total vindication and will not be taking questions.
The first formal tribunal case in Conglomerate history. The Aviators were charged with illegal nesting, structural sabotage, and contempt of snake. They did not appear. This was expected.
A small hat has appeared on the fake snake. The Chairman does not find this amusing. The Chairman finds this an act of institutional sabotage.
Effective immediately, all porch areas shall be subject to mandatory daily inspection by the Chairman during designated inspection hours.
A routine assessment of porch pillar security has revealed that the aviator situation is worse than previously understood. The fake snake has been absorbed into enemy infrastructure.